Interview with Axel: The Flaming Prince
by Kayfig
Summary: Kayfig returns to ask the questions people are dying to know the answers to about Axel, beloved character of Kingdom Hearts 2! Laugh and cry as you embark on the magical journey where the sully antihero tells all. Reviews are appreciated!


**Interview With Axel: The Flaming Prince**

_Note: I know it may be hard to believe, but I am actually NOT the creator of Kingdom Hearts. No, seriously guys; I do not joke about this stuff. (_

Kayfig: So this is Kayfig, returning after several years of absence from fanfiction. Hello everyone (none of you remember me, I'm sure). In any case, we have Axel with us today of Organization 13 fame and we just have a few questions for him. So, how are you today, Axel?

Axel: I'm fired up! But also really sad. Because you know, the whole "Roxas, why don't you remember me?!" thing is kind of a downer.

Kayfig: I'm sure. So, what's it like being the loneliest number?

Axel: What, you mean like number one? I'm not number one.

Kayfig: No, I mean like being without your lover.

Axel: blush Well, we're not really lovers, it's more like we're close friends..um, it's just you know, it can be really hard. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night or cut myself just to see if I'm alive.

Kayfig: Are you alive?

Axel: In the metaphorical sense. I mean, I'm not really alive in the real way because you know, I'm just a Nobody who wants to be a Somebody...but not in that Marilyn Manson kind of way, more like the Real World kind of way.

Kayfig: So you want to be a dramatic teenager?

Axel: I just want to live. Like Good Charlotte says.

Kayfig: ...Right. Yes, so anyway, the fans would like you to explain your fascination with fire. Would you call yourself a pyromaniac?

Axel: Well, I've always been very into flames. I just really feel like they symbolize who I am as a person, because fire is a representation of the burning desire of my soul to go out and molest-er, I mean go out and protect the weak and innocent.

Kayfig: But you're an antihero. Being the hero is Sora's job.

Axel: Well, he's not _my_ hero. I know that I sort of complimented him near the end, but that was just because he sort of looked like Roxas in a certain light. Not that I'm obsessed with Roxas or anything, we were just really close friends and in no way gay for one another.

Kayfig: But you're a flamer.

Axel: ..Yes, I like flames.

Kayfig: ...Fire is your main weapon. There are a lot of gay scenes in which you chase Roxas and proclaim your undying love for him-

Axel: ...! I never did that! I never said those things! blush I most certainly am not gay! I just wanted him to remember me. Like in the "Iris" song by the Goo Goo Dolls.

Kayfig: "_And I'd give up forever to touch you because I know that you feel me somehow.."_

Axel: Yes, exactly! NO, WAIT! Not that part of the song. The part that says, _"I just want you to know who I am."_

Kayfig: You and every other closet case.

Axel: This is more like sexual harassment than an interview!

Kayfig: Okay, okay, enough fun and games. Now we're going to be more serious. Please explain your catchphrase "Got it memorized?"

Axel: Oh! I'm really proud of that one. I stood in front of the mirror and said that to myself until I had it memorized, ha, I'm clever-but anyway, I felt like that kind of summed up what I'm about.

Kayfig: Yeah, you're really big on memory. Roxas remembering you, your little saying, and remembering what it was like to be human through Sora and your love.

Axel: ...Love in a platonic sense only.

Kayfig: Of course. So if you had been given a chance to see Roxas again what do you think you would have said?

Axel: I think it would have been a really difficult moment, but I would like to have told him how much I missed him since he left and how hard it was being all alone when Xemnas was constantly trying to cop a feel.

Kayfig: And you also might have noted just now how very, very romantic that sounded.

Axel: We were good friends!

Kayfig: You're more like a scorned lover.

Axel: Only because he left me! And after all we shared together he went and forgot about me, so of course I had to jog his memory!

Kayfig: By burning him with flames of desire?

Axel: No, angry flames! To symbolize the burning passion inside of me to take him-

Kayfig: From behind.

Axel: FOR A WALK. For a walk back to the organization.

Kayfig: ...And into your bed.

Axel: That's it! jumps up on chair as weapons materialize in flame I'm not gay! GOT IT MEMORIZED?!

Note from the Management: This scene of violent gore will be replaced with a happy story about a bunny and a kitten. Once upon a time there was a kitten named Samuel who was in love with a bunny named Mr. Crackers. They wanted to be together forever, but a jealous gopher with a lisp coveted Samuel's hot body. The tale ended in tragedy.

Kayfig: Okay, so we're back again! After that brief commercial break, Axel is prepared to commence with the rest of his interview.

Axel: tied to chair I. Will. Kill. You.

Kayfig: Isn't he charming ladies and gentleman? Alright, so we were just getting to the most important and most-asked question: what is your relationship with Roxas?

Axel: We're friends, I already told you that!

Kayfig: You heard it hear first, Axel and Roxas are friends with benefits!

Axel: What? No, hey, I never said that! O///O

Kayfig: Yes, my friends, Axel is gay for Roxas. His flames symbolize his overwhelming desire to burn off the clothes of every bishonen in sight!

Axel: That isn't true! I only use my powers for fighting, not for sexual pleasure!

Kayfig: displays poorly-edited photos Axel was the chosen one at birth to wield the mighty flame powers so he could claim his rightful place among his people and marry his beautiful bride Roxas, but then a less interesting villain from the last game thwarted his never-ending quest to save his girlfriend-

Axel: WHAT KIND OF INTERVIEW IS THIS?!

Kayfig: Tune in next week when we speak to the lovely woman who stole Axel's heart and lost his memory in the process..Sora!

Sora: No, that's Roxas.

Kayfig: Okay, Roxas, whatever you say.

Sora: Listen, I'm not Roxas! Why does everyone keep calling me Roxas?

Xigbar: ROXAS!!!

Sora: Oh jesus. face/palm


End file.
